Jokes:
Boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to boy "Can't you see the warning written on the cigar packet, smoking is injurious to health" The boy replies back. "I am a software engineer. we don't worry about warnings we only worry about errors"
A man left chicago for a vacation, his wife was on business trip and planned to fly down to meet him the next day. When the man arrived in Florida, he e-mailed his wife to let her know he had arrived, but mistyped her address. Instead, his message went to the inbox of a woman whose husband had just passed away. When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she read the message, screamed and passed out cold. The woman's daughter rushed into the room and found this note on the computer screen.
"My darling wife: just checked in. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to being with you again. Your loving husband.
Microsoft recently had a hacker attack of its own. Sources say some code of their upcoming projects was viewed. The thing that bothers Bill Gates the most about it is that he's afraid the hackers will fix the bugs and release a version of Windows that actually works.
What Gender Is Your Computer?
A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns,unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or femine.One puzzled student asked,'What gender is computer'?' The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary.So for fun she split the class into two groups, appropriately enough,by gender and asked them to decide whether 'computer' should be a masculine or feminine noun.
Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender because:
No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to every one else.
Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrireview.
As soon as you make a commitment to one,you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.
The womens group, however concluded that computers should be masculine, because:
In order to get their attention you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data but they are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems,but half of the time they are the problem.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
===========================================================
In
Karachi airport the Air Force is on one side of the field and
civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control
tower
in the middle. One day
the tower received a call from an aircraft
asking,
"What time is it?"
The tower responded,
"Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied,
"What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It
makes a lot of difference. If it is a PIA
Flight,
it is 3 oclock. If it
is US Naval Command flight in the region, then it
is
1500 hours. If it is
the Pakistani Air Force - the big hand is on the
12
and the little hand is
on the 3!"
Actual label
instructions on Pakistani consumer products:
1. On a helmet mounted
mirror used by Pakistani cyclists - Remember,
objects in the mirror
are actually behind you.
2. On a Pakistani
shampoo - Use repeatedly for severe damage.
3. On the bottle-top
of a (Pakistani) flavored milk drink - After
opening, keep upright.
4. On a Pakistani
insect spray - This product not tested on animals.
5. In Pakistan, on the
bottom of Coke bottles - Open other end.
6. On a bag of Fritos
- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary
details inside.
7. On a bar of soap -
Directions - use like regular soap.
8. On Pakistani
Ice-cream (printed on bottom of the box)- Do not
turn
upside down.
9. On a Pakistani
kitchen knife - Warning keep out of children.
10. On packet of
peanuts - Warning - contains nuts.
11. On a Pakistani
Airlines packet of nuts - Instructions - open
packet,
eat nuts.
12. On Pakistani
Sleeping pills. - Warning may cause Drowsiness.
13. Pakistani cars - Moving
object keep away from it.
14. Pakistani condoms
- For single use only.
15. Pakistani tampons
- For female use only.
16. Pakistani sugar -
Not the regular brown sugar, this is just a
sweetener.
17. Pakistani
cigarettes - Please light it, for better results.
18. Pakistani whiskey
- Save petrol.
19. Pakistani car
lubricants - This is for automobiles only, please
consult your doctor
for application on private parts.
20. Pakistani
toothpaste - Good for germs harmful for teeth.
21. Pakistani fridges
- Cools faster than heaters.
22. Pakistani hair oil
- Good for the soils.
23. Pakistani
newspapers - Contains adult information, the
Newspapersare not
responsible if the written matter is
objectionable.
24. Pakistani rifles -
Fire for fun, hit & run.
25. Pakistani
notebooks - Please do not try to read it, it's blank.
26. Pakistani
peppermint - Please do not load it on your revolver.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q : What do you call 1
Pakistani on the moon?...
A : Problem...
Q : What do you call
10 Pakis on the moon?...
A : Problem...
Q : What do you call
100 Pakis on the moon?...
A : Problem...
Q :What do you call
all the Pakis on the moon?...
A : ................
Problem Solved!
.====================================================================
A INDIAN walked into a
bar with his pet tiger on a leash and asked
the
bartender, "Do you
serve Pakistanis here?". Sure we do," replied the
bartender. Good," said
the INDIAN Give me a beer, and one Pakistani for
my
tiger."
.=====================================================================
Three guys, a Pak, a
Sri Lankan and an Indian are out walking together
one
day They come across a
lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give
you
each one wish, that's
three wishes total" says the Genie.
The Sri Lankan says,
"I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son
will
also farm. I want the
land to be forever fertile in Sri Lanka."
With a blink of the
Genie's eye,'FOOM' the land in Sri Lanka was
forever
made fertile for
farming.
The Paki was amazed,
so he said, "I want a wall , so that no foreigners
can come into our
precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's
eye,
'POOF' there was a
huge wall around Pakistan.
The Indian asks, "I'm
very curious. Please tell me more about this
wall."
The Genie explains,
"Well, it's
about 150 feet high,
50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state.
Nothing can get in or
out."
The Indian says, "My
wish is that you fill it up with water."
.====================================================================
Ashraf, the Pakistani
went to London's Heathrow airport to buy his
ticket
back home to
Rawalpindi . At the counter he found that he was 10 pence
short of the fare.
Having no other way out, he turned to all the other
passengers and begged.
." Will someone please
give me 10 pence? I badly want to go back and
meet
my Abba and Ammi
again!"
"Here" said a INDIAN ,
reaching into his wallet and handing him one
Pound
"..keep the change and
take nine of your countrymen with you!"
There were 11 people
hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.
Ten
were Pakis, and one
was a INDIAN . They all decided that one person
should
get off because if
they didn't then the rope would break and everyone
would
die. No one could
decide who should go, so finally the INDIAN said,"I
will
get off." After a
really touching speech from the INDIAN saying he
would get off, all of
the Pakis started clapping. Problem solved.
.=====================================================================
What happened when
there was a power cut at the Karachi airport?
Thousands of
Pakistanis were stuck on the escalator.
.=======================================================================
A Paki news editor got 20 years in prison
for calling the Prime
Minister a fool, 5
years for the scandal and 15 for revealing a state
secret!
.=======================================================================
Did you hear about the
747 jets which Crashed into a cemetery in
Karachi? The Pakistani
officials have so far Recovered 3000 bodies.
.========================================================================
Did you hear about the
Pakistani admiral who asked to be buried at sea?
Five Pakistani sailors died digging his
grave.
.========================================================================
What do you do if you
run over a Paki ? Reverse and make sure.
.========================================================================
Pakistan just got
their new Chinese fighter planes and sent a squadron
of pilots there for
training. Ok, this one is easy to fly", said the
Chinese
trainer, even fools
should be able to operate it! You press this button
to go up, this one to
go left and this one for turning right!" But how
do
we come down?" asked
Capt. Arfath Pasha Oh," said the Chinese "leave
that
to the Indian Air
Force!*
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