SARDARS ARE BACK !!

 

 

In a party one of Karnail Singh's friends asked him how
many chappathis he could eat in an empty stomach. karnail
replied "Seven". Then his friend told him "When U eat
the first chappathi your stomach is no longer empty
.Then how can U eat seven ??".
karnail was impressed by this tricky question. So as
soon as he went back home he asked his wife " How many
chappathis can you eat in an empty stomach ??".

She replied "Five". Then karnail told " Shit!! If only
you had told seven I had a nice reply for it"

 

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University
final examination which consists of Y/N type
questions. He takes his seat in the Examination hall,
stares at the question paper for five
minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his
wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the
coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N
for Tails.

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest
of the class is sweating it out. During the last few
minutes, he is seen desperatley throwing the coin,
swearing and sweating. The invigilator,alarmed,
approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I
finished the exam in half an hour". "But yaar", he
says, " I am rechecking my answers.">

 

 

A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes
to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket
number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs. The man
replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give
you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread
out for the next 19 weeks."
The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right
now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained
that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest
during the next 19 weeks.
The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look,
I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20
lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"

 

Three men were applying for the same job as a
detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one
was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant
just one question and base his decision upon that
answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview,
the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The
Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans
killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.
When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the
chief asked the same question. He replied Jesus was
killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man
who then left.
Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he
was asked the same question. He thought for a long
time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think
about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me
tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife
asked "How was the interview?".

Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and
I'm already investigating a murder."

 

Santa and Banta Singh were bitter enemies. Santa
lived on the 1st and Banta on the 7th floor of the
same building. One day the lift was out of order and
Banta Singh decided to play a trick on Santa and
called him for dinner to his house at 7:30 pm. So
Santa huffing and puffing manages to reach the 7th
floor. To his dismay he finds a big lock on the door
and a message - 'HA HA ULLU BANA DIA!'
Santa is angry but thinks a lot and finally writes
his reply below Banta's message - 'MAIN TO YAHAN AAYA
HI NAHIN THA!!'

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In
order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid
and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground,
grabbed a kid, took him
behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've
kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a
paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the
slide on the north side of the city play
ground".Signed, "A Sardarji".
The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt
and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough
a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The
Sardarji opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with
a note saying, "How
could you do this to a fellow Sardarji ?!"

 

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each
other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap
bag over his shoulder.

"Hey Bhai,"Gani Singh drawled, "what's in the bag?"

"Chickens," was the reply.
"If I guess how many, can I have one?"
"You can have both of them."
"OK, Five?"

 

Suicidal Sardar

An American, an Italian and a Surd were doing
construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of
a building... They were eating lunch and the American
said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef
and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump
off this building." The Italian opened his lunch box
and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more
time I'm going to jump off, too." The Surd opened his
lunch and said, "Paratha and dal again. If I get
paratha and daal one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees
corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The
Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps. The
Surd opens his lunch, sees
paratha and daal and jumps to his death also...
At the funeral..... The American's wife is
weeping...She says, "If I'd known how really tired he
was of corned beef & cabbage, I never would have given
it to him again!" The Italian's wife also weeps and
says " I could have given him pizza or lasagna! I
didn't realize he hated pasta so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the Surd's wife...
"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"

 

 

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a
busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are
dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle
balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange
that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if
its a marriage baarat. So one of them asks Santa
Singh, "Singh saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai
aur aap naach raheho?" ......
Comes the reply, "Ha ji ! Hai hi baat bade khushi ki
!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar *brain* tumour se mara
hai !!!"

 

Sardar Dhakan Singh is supposed to be a big hunter.
Once he went to a zoo. At that time a big tiger escaped
from its cage.
The zoo officials sent everyone out of the zoo and closed
the main gate.
Now the tiger is inside the zoo but wandering freely. Zoo
people requested sardar to go inside and trap the tiger
in a cage.
Scared but to avoid insult he went into the zoo in his
jeep carrying
a big gun.
While driving on one of the zoo's roads, he noticed that
the
tiger is chasing him. Feeling scared he drove the jeep
fast but only to
observe that the tiger is very near to the jeep. At that
time the road
separated into two paths ahead, one to the left and other
to the right.
Then cleverly dhakaan put the left indicator on and
turned the jeep to the road on right. The tiger runs into the left
path.
With a sigh of relief, he drove forward. After some time
the
roads meet and the same situation arises again. once more
the road divides into two and this time our sardar is
smart
enough to put the right indicator on and turned to left.This time the tiger goes
into the road on right side.
After
some time the roads meet again to our sardar's misfortune
and the tiger starts to chase him again.This time the road never divides and our
sardar thought
the
tiger would catch him. Then a brilliant idea struck his
mind.
He slows down his jeep taking it to the left corner of
the road.
Then he held his hand outside and a gives signal which is
given
for vehicles which want to overtake.
The tiger this time overtakes his jeep and runs forward.
Now, what do u understand from this story?

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MORAL: "There are some Sardar Communities
in Tigers too...".
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