WELCOME TO OUR JOKES GALLERY,HOPE U LIKE THESE FUNNIES..................

 

 

 <Question-Answers>

 

 Q. WHAT DID BANTA SINGH SAY WHEN HE SAW A BANANA PEEL?

 

 Ans. "OH! I AM GOING TO SLIP AGAIN.

 

 Q. WHICH IS THE SHORTEST JOKE?

 

 Ans. SANTA SINGH AND BANTA SINGH PLAYING CHESS.

 

 Q. WHICH BROTHER OF KALIDAS MAKES SHOES?

 

 Ans. ADIDAS

 

 Q. what would you call a sardar with just one hair on his head?

 

 Ans. iqbal singh.

 

 Q. WHAT DOES 98 STAND FOR IN WINDOWS 98?

 

 Ans. IT STANDS FOR NUMBER OF TIMES IT HANGS IN A DAY......

 

 Q. WHY DID BANTA SINGH TAKE HIS PREGNANT WIFE TO PIZZA CORNER?

 

 Ans. FOR FREE DELIVERY.

 

 Q. WHY AMERICANS STOP PRINTING STAMPS WITH PHOTO OF PAMEELA ANDERSON?

 

 Ans. COZ PEOPLE STARTED LICKING THE WRONG SIDE OF IT FOR PASTING THEM ON THE ENVELOPES

 

 

 

 

 PUNJAB BOARD COLLEGE EXAM QUESTION PAPER :              (Read It Carefully)

 

 PART A ( Questions 1 to 19)

 [This one`s slightly more difficult than last year`s]

 

 1. Write your name in less than 20 minutes and 20 letters (only alphabet are allowed, no numeric  digits or "_" allowed) 2. Sex? ( ) Male ( ) Female ( ) Sardar 3. What`s your age group? ( ) less  than 0 ( ) equal to 0 ( ) greater than 0 4. What is 2 + 2=? ( ) FOUR ( ) 4 ( ) IV 5. If you have  one brother, how many brothers does your brother have? ( ) none ( ) one ( ) question is too  personal

 6. Complete the following sentence... (4 marks) ______ ________ ________ _________ . 7.  If there are 365 days in a year, how many days make a year? 8. Read the statement carefully and  answer the following question: "My mother`s daughter`s brother`s mother`s mother`s daughter`s  husband`s wife is my mother herself". Q. How many times the word "mother" appears in the above  statement? ( ) None ( ) some times ( ) uncountable 9. If someone gives you a rupee for 100  paise, would you get: ( ) One rupee? ( ) 100 paise? 10. Write an Essay on "MYSELF" in not more  than three sentences... (HINT: My Name is ___________ (same as in [1]). I am a ______(boy/girl).  (I am writing an essay.)

 11. If the time is 3.00 a. m., what does your digital watch show? 12.  At what time does the 11.16 Indrayani Express come? 13. What do you do on a honeymoon? ( )  Collect Honey ( ) Admire Moon ( ) Collect Honey while admiring the moon 14. Earth is Flat? ( )  True ( ) Indeed True 15. If A = B and B = C then is B = A? ( ) TRUE ( ) NOT FALSE ( ) OUT OF  SYLLABUS 16. If you eat lunch during lunchtime, what will you have during dinnertime? 17. Think  and write the present tense of THOUGHT. 18. Complete the following poem: Mary had a little lamb  Little lamb little lamb_ (HINT: "." or "@" or "^") 19. This is question number (  ) 1 (  ) 19 (  )  20

 

 

 

 Science Professor!

 

A student visited his old school, 20 years after his graduation, and met an old Science professor of his.

The professor happened to be grading exam papers, and the student was surprise to notice that the questions were exactly the same as they were two decades ago.

He asked the professor about the possibility of the leakage of the exam paper such that the students would have known the questions in advance.

The professor smiled wryly and answered, "Don't worry about that, my dear boy. I've changed the answers every year."

 

 

 

 

 Wooommmbb

 

Four farmers were seated at the bar in a tavern. At the table next to them sat a young girl.

 

The first man said, "I think it's WOOMB."

 

The second replied, "No, it must be WOOOOMBH."

 

The third said, "You both have it wrong -- it's WOOM."

 

The fourth stated, "No, it has to be WOOMMMMBBB."

 

At this, the young lady could stand it no longer. She got up, walked over to the farmers and said, "Look, you hayseeds, it's WOMB. That's it, that's all there is to it." Then she left.

 

Eventually, one of the farmers broke the silence by saying, "Well, I don't know. A slip of a girl like that, I don't see how she could know. I'll bet she's never even heard an elephant fart!"

 

 

 

 

 

 Good Student

 

An English teacher spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students` written work. She was not sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk rubbing her temples.

A student asked, "What`s the matter, Mrs.Sheridan?"

"Tense," she replied, describing her emotional state.

After a slight pause the student tried again, "What was the matter? What has been the matter? What migh thave been the matter...?

 

 

 

 

What is the difference between girls aged:

8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?

 

 

At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed

At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed

At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed

At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story

At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story

 

 

 

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.

 

The car broke down.

 

The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a rod broke. We can check the rods."

 

The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I don't think it's getting gas. We shall check the gas tank."

 

The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system. We shall check the circuitry."

 

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?"

 

The Computer Engineer said, " We shall get out of the car and get in again ."

 

 

 

 

Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"

Pupil : "The moon".

Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

 

 

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??

TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth

 

 

 

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